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Can children choose where to live when their parents divorce?

On Behalf of | Jan 19, 2025 | Custody |

When parents decide to divorce, the entire family has to prepare for major adjustments. Shared custody scenarios mean that both parents have to give up some of their time with the children. The children also have to adjust to traveling back and forth between their parents’ homes.

Typically, one of those homes is their primary residence. They may have more overnight time at that parent’s house, and the address there determines what school district they attend in many cases. Parents may disagree with one another about the appropriate division of parental rights and responsibilities, including which parent provides the primary residence. If they cannot reach their own settlement, then they likely need to take the matter to family court. When the children in the family are older, they may have their own opinions about where they want to live.

Do older children and teenagers get to make decisions related to custody on their own behalf?

The courts determine the best solution

Parents have decision-making authority over their children for a reason. Even mature teenagers have brains that have not yet fully developed. They may not be able to appropriately consider the long-term consequences of their actions. As such, parents retain decision-making authority until children become legal adults.

However, in a contested custody scenario, the courts do take a child’s wishes into consideration. There’s no specific age at which the courts start to consider what a child prefers. Instead, a judge considers the age and maturity of the child along with the information they provide when expressing their preferences.

The judge then factors those preferences into their decision-making process along with other important information about the family. A child does not dictate where they live, and they generally have to abide by the arrangements established by a judge even if they don’t currently enjoy spending time with one of their parents. Parents should do everything in their power to encourage their children to see their parents regularly and uphold the custody order.

Learning about the rules that govern shared custody can help parents feel more confident as they prepare for family court. Even those going through a difficult time with their children generally have a right to see them regularly after a divorce.