Informing your spouse of a divorce can be challenging. They may be aware of the irreconcilable issues in your marriage, but they may not expect divorce. You may have accepted that the marriage is not working before them. Accordingly, you will tell them about your decision.
Here are four things to avoid when doing this:
1. Blaming them
When informing your spouse you want a divorce, avoid blaming them, even if their actions led to the decision. Instead, use “I” statements – give reasons you believe the marriage will not work and so on. The chances are you have thought of the divorce for some time and how the marriage affects you. Tell them the reasons you have realized.
Blaming them for the decision may lead to fights, making the conversation difficult and the divorce process, in general.
2. Doubting your decision
Before having divorce conversation, you should be sure you want it. Being doubtful and changing your mind can make things awkward in the marriage. Thus, be confident during the talk.
3. Being temperamental
It will be best to control your emotions when informing your spouse of a divorce. They may have anger outbursts because they didn’t expect, but you should not respond similarly. Stay calm, and if you can, help them relax.
4. Disregarding your spouse
Your spouse will also have their thoughts. They may inform you why they believe the marriage is not working or why you should not go ahead with the divorce. You should not ignore them. Let them talk and listen to their claims. You don’t need to agree to what they tell you, but your spouse should feel heard.
A peaceful conversation can guarantee a more manageable divorce process. It will help to get professional help to protect your interests in the divorce.
