As child custody proceedings start to settle down, you might start thinking about how to support your child in the aftermath. The way you communicate with your child, ex and others after separation or divorce can play a role in your child’s development. Proactively preventing conflict is one small yet impactful step to safeguard your child’s well-being.
The unseen scars of parental conflict
In South Carolina, as in many states, family courts prioritize the child’s best interests when making custody decisions. Though you may agree that your child can benefit from having both parents involved, you may find yourself co-parenting with someone you dislike.
Your frustrations may manifest as derogatory or hypercritical comments. Out of anger, you might also be tempted to use your child as a messenger for communicating discontent. Or your family may feel the need to express their disapproval of your ex openly.
Although having strong feelings about your situation is natural, it is important to keep such criticisms in check to prevent creating a stressful atmosphere for your child.
Conflict between parents or adults can deeply affect children, though it may not be immediately obvious. A child may start distancing themselves from the parent who denigrates the other, potentially harming their relationship. Additionally, research consistently shows a link between parental conflict and behavioral issues in children.
Your child could become withdrawn, struggle academically or act out as a way of coping with the complex emotions that parental disagreements stir up.
The benefits of a non-disparagement clause
Maintaining a civil relationship with your ex can be tough, even with your best intentions. It may be wise to consider adding a non-disparagement clause in your child custody agreement. Consider it a legal commitment to avoid negative talk about each other, whether in front of your child or others.
If needed, the clause can also apply to extended family members and cover social media posts.
After a painful split, resisting the urge to talk negatively about your ex can be challenging. A non-disparagement clause can help shield children from the fallout of parental conflict, ultimately preserving their relationship with both parents. It may give you a better chance of shielding your child from developing negative emotions.
Remember, this challenging time affects them too, and your support is vital to protecting their well-being.
